in the past few days i've let a couple people in my life know that i wasn't interested in friendship with them, anymore. it's stretched me a TON, and i'm still workin' it out in my head. you see, i generally like everybody " will act friendly with just about anyone. i say i "act friendly" because there are a few people who i would bet call me their friend...while i wouldn't consider them as much. (no one reading this, of course)
i realized last week that there are a few people i keep in my life in hopes that they'll meet someone else i know " become friends. these people get invited to parties, gatherings, events...because i know there will be others there that they may become friends with. i guess i'm a matchmaker...romantic, or not. i like to see people happy, meeting new people. is that so bad?
i decided that it's bad when it impacts my life negatively. either by adding too much stress, or taking up time i should be spending elsewhere just 'cause i can't say no.
in the end, i feel pretty good about cutting these people off. since my break-up in May, i've really focused on making myself healthy. i wasn't a very good friend for a while because i couldn't handle anyone else's issues...but i've made my way back into a healthy lifestyle, i think. i love being a good friend to my good friends. to those who bring me down, i'm sorry...i need to learn to let go.
i have to bring my Faith into this, as it's where my heart is...God is love...my Faith is all about love...so i do my best to pour out a ton of love into this world. to everyone. every human is worthy of love. i'm slowly learning to put boundaries in place so that i'm not drug down or hurt, though. does that make sense? i hope so...there's gotta be a way for me to pour out love without hurting myself. (and that includes cutting off those who misuse or misinterpet it)
wow. this is one of those entries i probably should have written in my personal journal. oh, well...hope you got something out of it.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
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